It's been...what? three or four years since I entered the real world.....tsk..yeah whatever...

For the past days, I've been thinking alot of things...especially my band with my new friends I found in our school. I discovered their passion, hidden talents, etc...most likely their ambition to be a musician.

Alright...I admit...AGAIN, I'm a music-minded kind of person. Whatever I do, there's always some melody playing in my head, I've been expecting too much in relation about my goal to establish a strong foundation of my band together with my friends, but I'm used to getting disappointed if my expectations didn't come, but I have to stop this vicious cycle....or something like that. It should end somewhere.

Right now, yes...I'm a little bit stressed, thinking alot of things about what can my friends do in my band, I believe we would start building our foundation sooner or later. I'm a little bit excited yet...I'm scared. yes...Scared. "but scared of what?"...1. failure, disappointing my friends...because I've been talking alot about my idea. and 2. success, ...well it's much frightening to see something bigger than life isn't...like when your dreams come true.

But that's non-sence, fear is nothing......am I right? face it..believe in my dreams...IN OUR DREAMS that is...and believe that you can really reach what you are really for no matter how many times you fucking fail down...Failure is when you refuse to get up and start all over again

I never refused to get up...and I think that's true...

I remember four years ago...doing the same thing...THE MUSIC thing...it is my vision...but it failed...again and again back then.

And now it's slowly coming to life...my vision...

What's pissing me off is that there are people always telling me "...oh geesh...you've been saying that for four years and it never happened" or something like "...you can say but you can never do it..." and "...dude....that's the same thing you said back then and said how many times...and you're going to do it again....?"

So fucking what?

I don't fucking care how long it might take...but this is what I've been planning since the day I got into music....let's say...16 years ago. I'm turning 20 and I believe this is the right time. Indeed...it is a slow process but I believe I can change that. It may not be easy...It would be very painful...

So fucking what? I'm facing the giant in this situation...of course there would be times when I'll be fucking down again...

I have my goal...I found my friends...I found the right person...I'm a bit stressed with what's going on...

You know who you are...

But this something that I have to deal with it...

I'm just letting it all out what's in my head